Time

Time is a bastard.... time forgets, time forgives and I dont want to forget and forgive. My memories are losing sharpness... I am unable to dream. Dreams were my only companions and they are now failing me. I am being pushed back in to the real world .... where all my dreams were shattered. I dont want to go back there ..... I want to live in my dreams..... I want to live my memories.... but time.... the villian..... the fight is on..... for my memories and for my dreams.... for the pain I carry... and for the pain that keeps me going.... I must survive the effects of time.... I must not forget... and I must not forgive....

Unfortunate moment

The most unfortunate moment........ It was all red.... with some violet and white patches....there was an elephant.. the one animal i am most afraid of....the animal that haunts me every night.... there was this music in the background...the old classical type..... the one which I hate most.... everybody had their hands raised... and there were the traders.... making sure that the sale happened... and there was the butcher.... all happy....

Reality is dead for me. I no longer live in the real world. I live in a fabricated world where dreams keep me alive. Dreams of the past. All those moments I dream about... And my only prayer is to have it all the time. When ever I sleep I think of all those moments..... those precious moments.... but i didnt know their value..... I started missing them only when i lost it. I am devaststed at the thought that those moments would never come back. They are lost for ever. and the pain is enormous... but i have started to like it. My dreams give me pain of it......Pain is an addiction... and I keep picking my wounds to keep the pain fresh. Memories are my cocaine..... and dreams are my dope...For the real world I am dead..... I exist only in dreams...dreams....and my only prayer is to die dreaming of all those moments...